The Best Relationships Are Not Built. They Grow.

One thing I have learned over the years is that people sometimes put a lot of pressure on a new surrogacy relationship.

That pressure usually comes from a good place.

Everyone wants the match to work.

Everyone hopes the connection will be there.

Everyone wants to know they made the right choice.

Then before the relationship has even had a chance to begin, people start wondering what it is supposed to become.

Will we be best friends?

Will we talk every day?

Will we vacation together?

Will we still be close ten years from now?

Honestly, none of us know that yet.

I always laugh and tell people that if I walked up to you at the grocery store and announced that you were my new best friend, that we were going to text every day and FaceTime every Sunday, you would probably slowly back away and wonder what was wrong with me.

That is because real relationships do not work that way.

Friendships take time.

Trust takes time.

Connection takes time.

Surrogacy relationships are no different.

One thing I think people forget is that the profile is just the beginning.

The match is the beginning.

The first conversation is the beginning.

The relationship itself still has to grow.

Some relationships grow quickly.

Others take a little longer.

Neither is wrong.

I have seen intended parents and surrogates become lifelong friends. I have seen relationships settle into something that looks more like extended family. I have seen people exchange holiday cards every year. I have seen others reconnect at important moments throughout life.

There is no prize for predicting which one your relationship will become.

There is also no prize for forcing it.

The healthiest relationships are usually the ones where people show up as themselves and allow the connection to develop naturally.

That means going in with an open heart and an open mind.

It means giving people room to be human.

It means understanding that relationships do not grow because we control them. They grow because we spend time together, communicate, share experiences, and slowly build trust.

I also think it means letting go of the idea that every relationship needs to look the same.

Some people are natural texters.

Some are not.

Some people love long conversations.

Others prefer quick check-ins.

Some relationships become incredibly close.

Others become quietly meaningful in their own way.

There is room for all of that.

A relationship does not have to look a certain way to be successful.

A gentle closing thought.

The strongest relationships I have seen in surrogacy were not planned into existence.

They were not rushed.

They were not forced.

They were simply given room to grow.

Go into a match with an open heart and an open mind.

Then let the relationship tell you what it wants to become.

💗